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You love me! You really love me! I feel so alive! Thank you so much! I know, I’m amazing!
Now LEAVE. Yeah, go. Exit through the doors where the EXIT signs are. If you’d kindly leave your congratulatory birdseed at the edge of the stage and make yourselves scarce, that would be wonderful. I need a bird bath after being under those bright lights for so long, and I need it now.
Submitted by: Unknown
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Okay, let’s see… I threw the stone, it landed on the five, and now I just have to make three one-legged skips in one direction and two in the other… I can do this!
Stay focused, Gerald. You da’ bird. This hopscotch course can’t touch you!
Source: Washee
I mean, I’m a fan of spicy food, but WOW. Talk about hot! My beak is on fire right now!
… oh no. Is my breast flushing? If the guys see me like this, they’ll never let me live it down. I mean, I fly SOUTH every winter! I’ve roosted in Mexico and Ecuador and Nicaragua! I should be able to handle a little bit of heat, and they know it! Ugh, this is so embarrassing.
We here at gimmesomefishies.com take customer service very seriously. Our guarantee is that all of our food will be delivered fresh, and we intend to honor that vow in every way we can.
Plus, the stares we get from passersby when we’re out on delivery runs are just priceless. It’s an added perk to the delivery boy job!
Via Pleated Jeans
God, why am I always so scatterbrained? It was right here! I just know it!
Let’s see… I woke up when my alarm went off, took a quick bath, toweled off, brushed my teeth… but I know I set it in this very spot in the pond! I have no idea where it could possibly–
Oh. It’s been tucked into my feathers the whole time. Silly me.
Source: Alejandro Jimenez
You think that I’m a wimp just because I’m the size of a salt shaker? Come over here and say it to my face! I’ll peck your eyes out!
… and then I’ll preen my feathers. I have more important things to do in my life than prove my manliness to the likes of people like you.
Via Love Your Chaos
Submitted by: Unknown
See guys? This is why I hate hanging out with Jerry. You’re just doing your own thing, strutting down the street in your typical fashion, minding your own business. You and your buddies are just talking, shooting the breeze, no big deal. And then he comes along. He waddles up to your posse, gets all buddy-buddy with no one in particular, and proceeds to make fun of you for the rest of the day.
God, the nerve of some penguins. I bet he’s just jealous because he can’t fly and I can. Yeah, that must be it.
Animal Lovers! We’re happy to introduce a new daily feature here on Acting Like Animals: Illustrated Animals!
From now on, we’ll be supplementing your daily dose of amazing animal photos with a daily animal comic, and we’re hoping you’ll enjoy these jokes as much as you enjoy our regular content!
Source: Crimes against Hugh’s Manatees
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